Thursday, February 09, 2006

So, my brother beat my mom and is in jail. And this is after a psychotic weekend of 911 calls and hospital visits. Talk about trauma. My mother and I have filed a restraining order and tomorrow is his arraignment. Ugh. Bleh. Yuck. This sucks. I feel totally overwhelmed. I want to be an ostrich and just stick my head in the sand. That would be nice. Usually I am so in control of my life. I know what to do and how to do it. And I do it well. But I just don't know. I mean, I guess I can't really do anything, but I don't even know how to feel. There is a tumult of emotions swirling about inside me. Its not very helpful for writing papers. And now I am legally protected from my own brother. He cannot come within 200 yards of me. How odd! My own brother, the one who gives me chocolate, tea and a rock with "Love" engraved on it, who held me when I was crying at my grandfathers funeral, who took me hiking and rockclimbing. I feel as though he is dead and some monster has taken his place. I wish I could find peace and be quiet and still. And all the chaos would settle down. Just float down like feathers back into the world of normalcy. I would even settle for boring and mundane. And don't you dare say that there is peace in God. Sometimes life sucks and there is no peace. If only I could awake from this nightmare.

5 Comments:

At 3:50 PM, Blogger Kevin Lewis said...

Joy, I will lament on your behalf tonight.

 
At 6:36 PM, Blogger Aleksandar said...

Try drowning yourself in prayer on your knees,even crying.do it long enough & you'll find some peace.What works for me is chanting the Divine Names of the Trinity in ancient Hebrew & Greek,along with the appropriate visualizations.

 
At 9:05 PM, Anonymous Tarrah said...

no words available...what heart ache Nick has embodied. Tarrah

 
At 6:56 AM, Anonymous Eric said...

Wow, I'm shocked. What the heck has gotten into him? I'm sorry to hear that.

 
At 1:41 AM, Anonymous Scott Arthur Edwards said...

Are you tired of getting nice compliments on your blog, when really you're not makeng the kind of money that you deserve? Now you can join a completely FREE program. No buying and No selling. FREE to join. All you do is refer customers. To get started fast, click here: internet money making idea site. It pretty much covers internet money making idea related stuff and it's FREE to join.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home